happy halloween: another 3-part series

the million dollar question: Do Chinese people celebrate Halloween?

the answer: Not really.

However, since my students are part of the International Section, many of them are familiar with - or even celebrate - Halloween. Thus I showed up to class on Thursday October 30 (yes the celebration is a little early, but when you're in China I suppose that's close enough) in full costume as a witch. Classes were pretty normal; the students were excited about my costume and I fully enjoyed chasing them with my broom when they misbehaved.

A highlight was showing up to my Year 1 class in the afternoon. Coco saw my costume and her face lit up. Unable to explain to me the source of her excitement with her limited English vocabulary, she ran next door and returned with a black cape and construction paper cone hat. Another witch!

In the evening the ISS had organized a Halloween party, complete with pizza and chocolate fondue (if you've been following my blog you know the rarity of such items in Bao'an), student vocalists, and a student-run haunted house. I consider this "part 2" of my holiday because I underwent a costume change about 20 minutes before the party. Jaris came to my apartment with the brilliant idea that I wear his clothes and go as a gangster. So I showed up to the ISS party with a huge silver cross, Fubu shorts to my ankles, a G-unit t-shirt, and even a do-rag. The students didn't really get my costume - some even told me I looked "cute" - but the other foreign teachers appreciated it.

Not such a great gangster face.

I also got to meet a few of my students' parents at the party, which was fun. They were friendly and welcoming, and since most were wealthy Hong Kongers, they came equipped with American-style candy: Snickers, Twix, Butterfinger, Reese's. If I were at home, this would hardly seem worth mentioning. However, a month in China has changed my perception of blogworthiness!

Finally, part 3: I went out on Friday night, American style, to the expat district of Shenzhen. Andy and Jaris had spent the afternoon downtown putting together '80s rock star costumes, while I sat at home and nursed a mild illness (aka tried not to distance myself too far from the toilet). I wasn't really that sick, so after going to a barbecue with Eric and John in the evening, I put on a last-minute '80s "groupie" costume and headed to the Irish Pub with Andy and Jaris. I thoroughly enjoyed myself for the first hour or so, but my afternoon sickness was apparently unresolved; after a couple beers I found myself dizzy, then almost blacking out, and then puking in the toilet downstairs (while some of the other foreign teachers laughed at me from the other side of the door). I made it home, but barely; I threw up again inside of our apartment complex and then laid down and claimed I would be fine just spending the night on the concrete. For my college roommates who are probably enjoying reading about this, since I have literally never thrown up after drinking in my entire life: yes I recognize the irony of spending 4 years celebrating Halloween in crazy Madison, and then finally puking my guts out while celebrating it in China...

chicken bar

A couple fun short stories before I rewind to the weekend:

• Yesterday when I was out for a run, I was startled out of the rhythm of my stride and iPod music when I passed three high-school aged boys. As we crossed paths, they yelled in unison, "You make me want speak English!" Yet another run where I laughed intermittently throughout my entire way home. Quite possibly the best pick-up line of my life.
• My year 1 students have taken to calling me "Hamburger," one of the few English words they know that admittedly sounds quite a bit like my name. Today when I was walking to the ISS I passed a gym class filled with my 1st and 2nd year students. They all yelled out excitedly as I passed, a mix of "Amber!" and "Hamburger!" Should have known which version would win out... Sure enough, in my Year 2 class today my students had a new name for me. American teacher, American food. Ah well, hopefully it helps them build a lasting association.
• A couple weeks ago, eating lunch at the dumpling place, I unsuspectingly found myself with an order of pig brain soup. As soon as I received it, I was immediately aware of what it was; you could probably use it to diagram the various areas of the brain, as it was totally intact and alarmingly brain-shaped, complete with the little creases and folds. Since I eat at this place at least a few times a week, I decided I would avoid making the same mistake by asking the students in my English Corner course to translate the menu for me. When I helped them through the translation this afternoon, I almost wished I hadn't; the chewy meat from this weekend was pig heart, and the only other "pig" choice on the menu was pig stomach. And here I've been ordering pig thinking it would be a safe choice...

This weekend was fairly "normal" - a night out at Beers of the World, where I thoroughly enjoyed three Belgian beers and hung out with a big group of teachers; a day trip to "Windows of the World," one of Shenzhen's only tourist attractions, filled with miniature replicas of the world's greatest wonders; and a night out in Shekou, the expat quarter of Shenzhen.

My experience in Shekou this time was quite a bit different than my last few. The night started with gigantic - and delicious! - burgers and fries, and ended at a place called a "chicken bar." Although I'd been warned about what it was, I was still a bit taken aback by my experience.

The bar we went to, Wendy Bar, had six women working in the smallest bar I had ever seen. They were dressed conservatively enough and seemed to simply be overly friendly, which made the whole experience even more bizarre. As I sampled a dish that Wendy offered me and sat playing a very popular dice game with Andy, Dave, and a few of the women (a bar game that is, incidently, really aiding me in my fluency with Chinese numbers), Steve commented, "I hope this moment makes your 'Memoirs of a Supreme Court Justice': eating fish heads and rolling dice with Chinese hookers."

I should have been relatively out of place, but the women greeted me warmly and were happy to talk with me. In fact, Wendy even got out a Connect Four board (I'm telling you, this was a Twilight Zone experience) and played several games with me. The more we played, the less I spoke, and the more I became lost in a depressing realization: next year, I would be at Yale Law school, while Wendy would still be working at her chicken bar. She had no idea of this, I'm sure, as she smiled at me slyly across the bar and proceed to beat me four of five rounds of Connect Four.

I didn't make it out much longer after that. As Andy commented, "If you keep thinking so much you're just going to make yourself miserable." But there is nothing like the reminder of fated existence to kill a Saturday night buzz.

dance: the 3-part series

(1) The International School Section talent show with the visiting British students. I got dragged out onto the floor at the end of the night by a couple of my 2nd year students, and made a very unsuccessful attempt at the choreographed routine dancing through some bamboo rods. It was fun, although slightly embarrassing - I was hoping they would still respect me as an instructor after watching me nearly break my ankle - and it was cool to be included in a typical Chinese tradition.

The ISS students singing at the "UK-China Celebration of Togetherness" (I won't make fun because I actually helped with that translation.) Note the British students sitting in front of me: blondes!!

Ben and Coco, my 2 first year students, navigating the bamboo rods... yes, I got shown up by 6 year olds

(2) A completely unplanned dance that still makes me laugh when I think back on it. I went running yesterday afternoon at about 1 pm, into downtown Bao'an. It was remarkable that even on the busy streets of a huge city I did not encounter one single non-Chinese person. I realize I've really overemphasized this point throughout my blog, but it is really unfathomable to me how foreign I really am to these people.

So, in a city where people don't run, a blonde girl decked out in running gear was clearly a sight to behold. After I had been running for about 45 minutes and was returning home, I got stopped at a stoplight. I'm growing accustomed to the fishbowl feel of Bao'an, but this moment was for some reason (maybe the long run in 95 degree heat?) utterly overwhelming. As I looked left, right, in front, behind, and saw every eye looking directly upon me, I spontaneously began to dance. I mean full out dancing, rocking out the music on my iPod, bouncing around at the stoplight, arms and legs and everything. People were so unsure what to do, it seemed, but I just kept dancing and looking back at them, and pretty soon the ones around me started to laugh. Looking back I'm not sure whether they were laughing at me, or with me, because despite my straight face I was probably equally amused by the situation, but regardless I kept giggling to myself about it the entire way home. I wonder if maybe I'm starting to go a little crazy - a la Britney Spears - but as long as it keeps me laughing I guess I will be ok!

(3) Salsa dancing, last night. I realize that going to a salsa bar until 1 am was probably not the wisest decision before teaching at 8 am, but a former teacher Zlato (yes his name is Zlato, he is a "native English speaking Bulgarian"; figure that out) was in town so basically all of the teachers went out together. There is nothing like peer support to keep the guilty feelings at bay...

It was cool to see salsa so far removed from its native culture, but also about what I would have expected: very few people there actually knew the steps. In fact, there were about 2 men for the 20 women on the dance floor, so I hardly danced at all. (Yes, very out of character for me, I know.) However, Carolyn - one of the other American teachers - is a dance instructor in Florida so I got to learn a bit from her anyway.

So that's 24 hours of dance in China! Tomorrow morning bright and early I have my final round of interviews to gain a residency permit. I'm practically Chinese....... or something.

hello, ESL 2nd graders, this is evaporation.

I'm sitting at the Language Center office at 5:30 pm, after working since 8:00 am, to blog, plan tomorrow's lessons, and write evaluations of the ones I taught today. I'll stay until 7:30, when the ISS students are putting on a talent show/dinner for a group of British students visiting from our sister school in London. I am totally drained - I really can't remember ever putting in so many hours at work in one day, ever - but am also feeling accomplished and just plain good (although that could be the coffee talking).

Side note, in case you were feeling sorry for me: It also helps that this is not my normal schedule. Usually by now I'd be at the gym - or "Jim" as the sign indicates - and then relaxing for the evening. One long day each week isn't too bad.

Anyway, I taught four 40-minute class periods today, which I have learned feel incredibly short and energetic when I have a solid lesson plan, and drag on for hours when I haven't planned adequately. Among these 4 classes were two POI ("Point of Inquiry") courses - dreaded by the international teachers both because they demand an inordinate amount of lesson planning and evaluation and because the topics are often quite abstract and difficult to teach.

My Year 5 class is simple and fun. We are currently learning about festivals, and we covered Diwali today, which was cool because it required me to do some research/learning also. My Year 2 class, on the other hand, is learning about the water cycle and its role in weather patterns. Yes, evaporation-condensation-precipitation... Difficult concepts to convey to students with just a year of English behind them. However, I can't pity myself, as it gets far worse; the Year 1 students who are just learning to write their own names have as an available topic "Finite Resources and Infinite Demands."

"Rain" and "clouds" and "river" and "sea/ocean" were all easy enough to illustrate, and I decided that was good enough for Year 2 students - too many "-ation" words would overwhelm them. But I reserved an entire class period for "evaporation" which I decided was a pretty important, although complex, term. I illustrated the concept through two experiments:

1. Yesterday I started class by pouring water on my shirt, and asked what would happen. Then, after spending the hour brainstorming where we can find water and going over vocabulary, I went and got my T-shirt from the window, miraculously dry (thank you, Nike Dryfit) to get the students thinking about where water goes.
2. Today we measured 300 ml of water and put it over a burner. (I am loving the amazing classroom resources available here!) Then we watched as the steam curled up off the water and the water level dropped. With a little prompting I got the students to guess that the heat from the fire acted like the sun on my T-shirt, to make the water go "into the air." They were super excited, both because they figured out the missing piece of the water cycle and because they learned their longest word yet (e-v-a-p-o-r-a-t-i-o-n, with v-e-g-e-t-a-b-l-e-s as a close second). Likewise, I was super excited because I felt like a real teacher; also because the head of the ISS watched me teach and said he would use my idea for teaching the water cycle in the future.

My Year 2 students doing eye exercises (photographed secretly from the inside of my bag)

the beach

I took a trip to the beach on Saturday with Jaris and Andy, which sounds like it would be quite simple since Shenzhen is a coastal city. Unfortunately it's a pretty large coastal city with a very limited beach selection, so it took over 2 hours of bus/metro-hopping to get there.

One cool thing about the bus ride out was that we went by some of the huge Shenzhen ports. I read in a travel guide that if Shenzhen were its own country, it would have the 11th largest volume of trade in the world. It's one thing to read that, and another to see the mountains of containers piled up for shipping, ready to make their way across the world. When I studied in Belgium, one of my favorite professors explained the US-China trade deficit: "What does China ship to the US? Containers full of labor-intensive products. What does the US ship to China? Well, they ship back the containers." This of course isn't totally true but nevertheless it was sort of cool to see what these huge containers actually look like; sort of a concrete, real-life representation of international trade.

The beach was quite a bit like many beaches across the world - sand, ocean, vendors. A few differences: many women go fully clothed to protect against getting tan, which would place them on a lower social rung; kids walk around naked at an age that would never be acceptable in the US; and the water is far dirtier because of the lack of pollution regulation. And of course the reaction to our presence was quite a bit different in ethnically homogeneous China than it would be elsewhere. Jaris and Andy were playing catch with a football while I was attempting to body-surf, and both immediately became spectator sports. Not only that, but when I would catch a wave into shore, people were actually cheering. I'm going to have to pull some pretty weird stuff in the US if I want the same kind of treatment when I return...

the beach in Shenzhen, with Hong Kong visible in the background

It's so strange to have people photograph, stare, and talk about you openly; even if you stare straight back at them it seems that the rudeness does not register. In the book I'm reading now, Chinese Lessons: Five Classmates and the Story of the New China, the author writes that "daily life for me in China was that of a zoo animal." He wrote this about his experience in 1981, which makes me think that perhaps things in this country are not changing as rapidly as everyone seems to think...

everyday life.

After about 3 weeks in Shenzhen, I am finally beginning to feel like an actual resident. I call my apartment "home," I have a gym membership that I use daily, I know where I can get the best dumplings/noodles/sweet & sour pork, I have finally solved the mystery of my stone-age washing machine... and most importantly, as of today I have a permanent (knock on wood) teaching schedule and have sat in on or co-taught each of the classes that I will be responsible for.

Weekly Schedule
	Mon	Tues	Wed	Thurs	Fri
Period 1	10/11 B-level			4/5/6 A-level	Year 5 POI
Period 2		4/5/6 A-level	10/11 B-level
Period 3			Year 5 POI		Year 2 POI
Period 4
LUNCH
Period 5		Year 2 POI		Chinese lessons	Teachers A-level
Period 6	Year 2 POI	Year 5 POI	Year 1	Year 1
Period 7	English Corner	English Corner

To explain a bit more about the classes:

• My 10/11 B-level class is a "listening" class for high school students at a medium level of English. The kids are well-behaved but quite disinterested in English... No wonder, because the textbook is terrible; the class consists mostly of dictation. I have already planned my first lesson on numbers, though, and intend to illustrate mileage using a world map, discuss currency by bringing in actual American coins, etc. It should be a very basic class to teach, but if I have any desire to keep the kids engaged I will have to do some serious additional lesson planning.
• My POI classes (Year 2 and Year 5) are for kids who have relatively advanced English skills and are not technically English classes at all - instead, I teach basic science/math/history/social studies, depending on the theme, so the kids familiarize themselves with the English vocabulary of real topics. I co-taught the Year 5 class today and was shocked by how well the students speak English; in fact, some of the kids were actually raised in Canada and are totally fluent. Thus when Dave (the current teacher) allowed the kids to ask me some questions, in addition to the usual "do you like China?" and "how old are you?" I got complex and entertaining ones like: "Do you know anything about the political situation in Zimbabwe?" and "Why are your eyes so big? Does it help you wear contact lenses?"
• The 4/5/6 A-level includes many of the same kids as my Year 5 POI; it's basically an English class for the most advanced 4th-6th grade students.
• My Year 1 class. Oh my goodness. I can't believe my good fortune at getting handed this one. There are only two Year 1 students, Ben and Coco, and they are completely adorable and also very smart. I've been warned that teaching two kids can actually be more difficult than having a full classroom, but if you could see how incredibly cute these kids are, you would probably quit your day jobs and move to China. I'll snap a picture next week and post it ASAP for your enjoyment.
• English Corner with 7th, 8th, and 9th graders: This is already my least favorite class. It's really a fluff class: ungraded and unrelated to any of the other coursework the kids are doing. It's supposed to reinforce the English they've been working on, but really it seems to be more of a pop-in-a-movie-and-half-assedly-discuss-it-later type class. The middle school group is already super unmotivated, so this informal class is an unproductive disaster.
• In my Teachers A-level class on Friday afternoons, I'll be leading the course I watched last week, teaching English to the most advanced Chinese teachers. It seems ironic that little unqualified me will be leading a class full of math, science, and business teachers (with actual teaching degrees, no less!) each week. But in a way I am most comfortable doing this, since they are most similar in age to the ESL students I worked with in Madison.

Time to go out for dinner... Again. I guess that's what you do when a meal at a restaurant is cheaper than a peanut butter and jelly sandwich!

nightlife!

This weekend I took the opportunity to do everything that I would not do if I were in Shenzhen 20 years later in my life; namely, I explored the bar and club scene downtown, and temporarily adjusted my sleep schedule to 5 am until noon. How's that for jet lag recovery?

The entire nightlife seemed quite European to me, probably because I spent most of both evenings in the expat district, Shekou. Shekou is about a 40 minute cab ride from my home district Bao'an (which is, as any Westerner will quickly point out, in the middle of nowhere). The ride felt long on the way there but provided a nice nap on the way back, so I could hardly complain. Also, the entire expat lifestyle/experience was something I hadn't really contemplated or taken part in, and it was both interesting and wildly different from my other experiences in China so far.

First off, and most overwhelmingly, there were foreigners everywhere. Even blondes. And somehow, after just 2 short weeks of Chinese immersion, they made me incredibly uncomfortable. I'm going to blame the fact that the group that chooses to leave their own country indefinitely probably lacks the social competency to thrive at home and are not actually representative of their home countries, rather than assume that I have forgotten how to interact with my own people. This is probably more fair than it sounds; after all, when I'm out at home generally a table of men does not place bets on my nationality and then argue with me about it ("no, Russian or British?"), and a random middle-aged man does not follow me throughout a bar attempting to pet my hair. And regardless, in any country it's likely to be a strange bunch that ends up at an Irish pub singing outdated American alternative rock along with a Chinese lead singer and her evidentally European band members at 4 am. (Although yes, I do realize that this is group I have become part of.)

Me, Jaris, and Andy at the Irish pub. Since I didn't bring my camera I'm relying on posted pictures from others - thank you, facebook.

Another important landmark of the weekend was eating American food. The first night Andy and Jaris and I ended up at Champs - yes, the American chain - sometime after midnight. On night 2, I had my first trip to a Chinese McDonalds, where Andy and I managed to spend 67 kuai on post-bar food (2 burgers, 2 medium fries, 20-piece chicken NcNuggets...). I don't even eat McDonald's at home, but I'm not too proud to say it was really quite delicious. Although I won't admit how many times I had to go back to the counter to ask for more ketchup.

Despite the appearance of basking in our local American getaway, there were some aspects of both Friday and Saturday night that were distinctly Chinese. We went to a KTV, for example, which I mentioned in an earlier entry but didn't fully experience until Saturday night. KTVs are wildly popular here, and essentially consist of small rooms rented individually with a big-screen TV, a few mics, and karaoke software. There are songs available both in Chinese and English - although the selection of Chinese songs is much more extensive - and since our group was divided between English and Chinese speakers, I got to hear a little of both. I could hardly imagine this concept becoming popular in the US on the scale that it is popular here. After all, isn't the whole point of karaoke to subject an entire bar to your sloppy singing of corny songs?

Anyway, back to work. I've got a classes of 2nd graders and 5th graders today, and they're not going to teach themselves! (Although I wouldn't mind if they did.)

My name is... I like...

View out my window at noon on Saturday

For those of your who were worried about my teaching, I can reassure you that it is now Saturday morning and I have officially survived my first few classes. Not only survived, in fact; after my first solo lesson I could not stop smiling for the next hour. I was teaching a group of 25 Year 5 students, which are supposed to be the most hormonal and difficult group, but apparently getting them during the first few days ("honeymoon period" - who knew there were teacher terms for things like this?!) meant that I had a lot of positive energy to work with.

The best part of the experience was probably after I got done teaching, though - walking through campus and passing my students, who called me a range of names from "Teacher Ender" to "Anbul" to "TEACHER TEACHER TEACHER." I think being the only blonde in a school of several thousand - and seemingly, a city of 13 million - helps them to remember me... So I guess I've got that going for me. (Which is nice.)

Yesterday afternoon after classes were finished turned out to be equally interesting. First I observed a "teach the teacher" session, where native English speakers give the Chinese staff at the ISS an English lesson every other week. The class I observed was high level English, and Dave - a Canadian who directs the ISS - gave them a lesson on "law." I was surprised by 2 things:

1. Laws in China are often very similar to - or even more stringent than - American laws governing the same issues. For example, the legal marriage age here is 20 for women and 22 for men. Child labor is illegal under 16. There is a minimum wage and a maximum workweek: about 1000 kuai a month in our province (~$150) and 20 days of work per month. When Dave pressed them on the issue, however, the teachers were quick to admit that most of those laws don't actually mean a whole lot in practice.
   
2. Dave also opened a forum to discuss which laws are and are not oppressive; which laws would the teachers change if they could? Interestingly, there were actually a few teachers who were pro gay marriage. ("But there are no gay people in China!") On the topic of censorship, though - a word which none of the teachers had ever heard (very 1984-esque) - everyone squirmed uncomfortably and did not express any disagreement. The same was true for the death penalty; no teachers were willing to consider that it might not be the best idea to put a murderer on death row.

Interesting as it was, when I take over Dave's classes I think I'll stick with less controversial lesson plans. I have my interview with the police on Monday morning to determine whether or not I can become an official resident - meaning I will finally be allowed to leave and return to China freely! - and I'm not looking to get deported anytime soon.

Finally, the closing scene of my week at work: as a newbie I was forced to sit through the parents' meeting at the school, which was essentially an hour and a half of speakers droning on in Chinese. I was not expected to understand anything but rather just sit in the audience looking competent and Western. At the end of the meeting, the Language Center presented a slide show, and I laughed out loud. Steve and I had interrupted Andy's classroom earlier in the week so we could take very posed pictures with the kids. I wasn't sure of their intended use at the time, and the whole thing seemed pretty ridiculous since they weren't even my students and I certainly wasn't actually teaching in the photos. But there I was in the slide show: me and a few Chinese students, laughing and smiling, pointing to China on the map together. I guess I have officially become part of the ubiquitous propaganda of my host country.

Scenes at TESS:

Yes, Chinglish is everywhere, but seems especially out of place outside of the Language Center. Apparently they did not consult their English-speaking staff with their trash can design.
Lunch at the school cafeteria: duck feet! I will never complain about mashed potatoes and gravy again.

so, I guess I'm a teacher now.

I started what was supposed to be a 5-day teacher orientation on Monday morning, and am alternating between being excited, mildly nervous, and wanting to get back on the next airplane to the US to return to a job I am comfortable with and qualified for. (Yikes, I better watch my prepositions if I'm an English teacher now...)

I drafted sample lesson plans on Monday and Tuesday, and watched classes in the Language Center during the afternoon. There is a common stereotype of Chinese students that they are much more disciplined, hard-working, and respectful of their elders than their American peers. That image for me was destroyed within seconds of walking into a TESS classroom. The Chinese kids I observed were squirrelly, cliquey, loud, moody, and ultra-competitive - after all, regardless of cultural norms, they are still kids. Luckily, they are also unbelievable cute.

Jaris teaching parts of the body in what may soon be my classroom (!)

After reassuring myself that my 5-day introduction to teaching would ease me smoothly into the teaching experience, I was approached by Steve this morning with an unforeseen request (demand?): there will be several new classes tonight that don't yet have teachers, and he needs someone to fill in. So in two days I have graduated from mediocre first attempts at lesson planning to standing in front of classroom, playing the role of teacher. I am hoping I can put on a guise of confidence... or at least not pee my pants in front of a classroom of 4th graders. I can't help but think of all the times my mom pressured me to do something out of my comfort zone to "build character" - this experience is definitely going to be a chart-topper. (I hope you're proud!!)

Yet despite my apprehension I am pretty excited - after all, this is what I traveled several thousand miles to do. Besides, it makes the demo introductory lesson I'll be giving the other teachers on Friday morning seem like a cake-walk in comparison. Not to mention, if nothing else it may give me an exciting addition to my blog... :)

* * *

On a completely unrelated note, when I was leaving to go for a run on Sunday morning (recuperation after watching the disappointing ending to the Badger game with a fellow teacher from OSU) I realized I left my iPod, keys, and small wallet on the bus home from Yangshuo. Luckily everything that disappeared was readily replaceable, and the process of losing them was fast and painless - no show-downs like my European muggings! Still, for those of you who had high hopes for me in my new hemisphere, I can assure you I have not lost my magic touch.

Road tripping to Yangshuo & Guilin

I got back at 7:30 this morning from 3 and a half long days (literally - at one point I was awake for 24 hours straight) in Guilin 桂林 and Yangshuo 阳朔. I am actually embarrassed about my earlier post now, when I expressed surprise/disappointment at the anemities in my apartment, because now the entire thing seems heavenly and completely Western. My Western toilet, for example, appears to be one of the only ones in the entire country, and the rock-hard mattress on my bed is cloudlike compared to the bamboo mats the rest of the population seems to be sleeping on.

Like most days spent exploring new cities, my past few have been quite action-packed and exciting. I'll try to keep this post from scrolling out of control by covering only the highlights.

DAY 1

The bus ride out actually turned out to be quite exciting. Thankfully we had a sleeper bus, because our estimated 10-hour journey somehow turned into 17. I arrived with two of my fellow teachers, Sam and Allaina, in Yangshuo at 2:30 am. We checked out prices at a few hotels, but recognizing how much would be paying per hour of sleep, decided instead to walk out toward the river, and sat in a pagoda waiting for the sunrise. A few hours later, we were all quite pleased with our decision, as the rising sun illuminated the karsts (narrow, pointed limestone mountains) across the river. In the morning our group met with Andy, another teacher who had taken an overnight bus from Shenzhen. After checking into a hostel and haggling for the price of both our accommodations and touristy activities, we rented bikes and headed out to the water caves. Biking in China is an adventure of its own right; since street traffic flows in every direction with no regard for signs, lines on the pavement, or speed limits, large vehicles have a definite advantage over smaller ones, and bikes are the bottom rung of this intimidation-factor hierarchy. However, aside from the sheer craziness of it, the ride turned out to be one of the best parts, with another spectacular view waiting around every turn.

View of the Li River in Yangshuo

After we dropped our bikes at the ticketing office, we took two separate buses connecting us to the water cave, both of which seemed to be within miles of the end of their useful lives and were sort of painful to ride over the very unpaved roads. The cave was worth it, though. The tour was not so interesting, since it essentially consisted of the guide pointing out cool-looking formations and giving his interpretation ("You see this one, vertical and tall? Is sex penis!"). But at the end we got to swim in the pools of water within the cave, including one that was filled with mud so thick that we could not see our suits after swimming in it, and rose to the surface when we jumped in as though the sandy water were actually denser than we were.

Dinner meant meeting with Pan, a Chinese college student Allaina had met on couchsurfers.com, and a restaurant excursion for a traditional Yangshuo dish - catfish. It seemed pretty normal, except that we had to choose our fish, which was swimming around in a pond minutes before we ate it, and I found the eyeball in the final cooked product. (This, as a side note, was not nearly as gross at the meat on a stick I ate later that night, which I later identified as pig penis.)

Since the Chinese holiday was in full swing, the streets filled up early and our group headed to a KTV, a type of karaoke bar that is enormously popular in China - even more than the "real KK" in Madison, believe it or not! A highlight of the night was joining the Chinese DJ, who was rocking out on the dance floor by himself, for a dance. At first he had no idea what to do with me out there, but when I sat back down he kept trying to re-join him onstage. Apparently Chinese girls don't dance much, so I made a bit of a scene. A few hours later, after the rest of the group headed home, Andy and I finished the night skinny-dipping in the Li River with some international teachers from Shanghai. The water was warm and the entire experience was a trip highlight - at least until flash photography chased us out of the water and hurriedly back to our clothes.

DAY 2

I woke up the next day at 5 am, surprisingly refreshed from 3 hours of sleep, in time to catch a boat cruise to watch the sunrise (again) over the Li River.

When we returned to the hostel - still early in the morning - we found that Pan would be allowed to host us at his dormitory in Guilin, so we packed up our things and prepared to leave the hostel. This simple action turned into the most excitement we encountered during our trip: when we told the hostel owner we were leaving, he flipped out. We had already paid for part of our second night, so we said we would leave the money, but he wanted more. After Andy, Allaina, and I walked out of the gate with our bags, he closed the iron gate behind us, keeping Sam trapped inside the hostel. Finally, when Andy threatened loudly to call 110, the phone number for the Chinese police, the owner released Sam. Sam was understandably upset, especially since the guy had broken his Oakley sunglasses when he attempted to snatch his belongings, but I think our relief at escaping a potential terrifying situation outweighed the damage.

Our stay with Pan was interesting, especially since it allowed me to compare Chinese and American dormitories. They are actually quite similar, except that Pan has 5 roommates, a very Chinese bathroom, and only a small cupboard for storing his clothes. He is in school now for English tourism and I got a kick out of looking over some of his class material - for example, he had recently studied a list of common abbreviations used in casual email (e.g. ASAP, lol, wtf, etc).

We spent the evening sight-seeing and eating traditional Chinese food. Horse is an area specialty; in fact, we didn't see any restaurants on our block that didn't feature at least one horse dish on the menu, but I carefully avoided them. I did resolve to try a snail, but after struggling to detach its tentacles from the shell, I couldn't bring myself to eat it. I figured the pig penis was enough for one vacation. We also learned, somewhat accidentally, that it was Pan's birthday, so Andy escaped dinner to buy him a cake and we celebrated, American-style.

Our group at the top of one of the karsts in Guilin (Andy, Sam, Pan, Allaina, me)

DAY 3

Luckily, our final day was slightly less adventurous. We saw the Seven Star Park in the morning, complete with Chinese cave writing and panda bears. We even saw some monkeys walking around the park, which I thought were adorable and picture-worthy until they attacked a small boy sitting in a pavilion. I guess they are more irritable than their cuteness conveys... Anyway, after getting dumplings for lunch, Pan gave us each a traditional Chinese gift and we headed back Yangshuo to catch our bus. I decided to spoil myself and use the bathroom at the Yangshuo KFC, which cost me almost 45 minutes waiting in line; it was in high demand, since although it was a squat toilet it was equipped with toilet paper and a sink and was kept clean. These are the luxuries I never consider when I'm at home...

The last thing I did before we boarded the overnight bus to head back to Shenzhen was purchase an enormous wall hanging. It's taller than me, and is canvas material painted with the character for "dance", painted abstractly to look like a man and woman dancing. I bartered with the woman from 480 to 280 kuai (about US $40) and although I think I have gotten it even cheaper, I almost felt bad giving her so little. Such is the nature of prices in China; I spent 3 days traveling, eating like a king, and doing exactly what I wanted, and in the end spent less than US $200. If you can deal with the toilets, bad smells, and constant stares, China is really a pretty good place to be.