My name is... I like...

View out my window at noon on Saturday

For those of your who were worried about my teaching, I can reassure you that it is now Saturday morning and I have officially survived my first few classes. Not only survived, in fact; after my first solo lesson I could not stop smiling for the next hour. I was teaching a group of 25 Year 5 students, which are supposed to be the most hormonal and difficult group, but apparently getting them during the first few days ("honeymoon period" - who knew there were teacher terms for things like this?!) meant that I had a lot of positive energy to work with.

The best part of the experience was probably after I got done teaching, though - walking through campus and passing my students, who called me a range of names from "Teacher Ender" to "Anbul" to "TEACHER TEACHER TEACHER." I think being the only blonde in a school of several thousand - and seemingly, a city of 13 million - helps them to remember me... So I guess I've got that going for me. (Which is nice.)

Yesterday afternoon after classes were finished turned out to be equally interesting. First I observed a "teach the teacher" session, where native English speakers give the Chinese staff at the ISS an English lesson every other week. The class I observed was high level English, and Dave - a Canadian who directs the ISS - gave them a lesson on "law." I was surprised by 2 things:

1. Laws in China are often very similar to - or even more stringent than - American laws governing the same issues. For example, the legal marriage age here is 20 for women and 22 for men. Child labor is illegal under 16. There is a minimum wage and a maximum workweek: about 1000 kuai a month in our province (~$150) and 20 days of work per month. When Dave pressed them on the issue, however, the teachers were quick to admit that most of those laws don't actually mean a whole lot in practice.
   
2. Dave also opened a forum to discuss which laws are and are not oppressive; which laws would the teachers change if they could? Interestingly, there were actually a few teachers who were pro gay marriage. ("But there are no gay people in China!") On the topic of censorship, though - a word which none of the teachers had ever heard (very 1984-esque) - everyone squirmed uncomfortably and did not express any disagreement. The same was true for the death penalty; no teachers were willing to consider that it might not be the best idea to put a murderer on death row.

Interesting as it was, when I take over Dave's classes I think I'll stick with less controversial lesson plans. I have my interview with the police on Monday morning to determine whether or not I can become an official resident - meaning I will finally be allowed to leave and return to China freely! - and I'm not looking to get deported anytime soon.

Finally, the closing scene of my week at work: as a newbie I was forced to sit through the parents' meeting at the school, which was essentially an hour and a half of speakers droning on in Chinese. I was not expected to understand anything but rather just sit in the audience looking competent and Western. At the end of the meeting, the Language Center presented a slide show, and I laughed out loud. Steve and I had interrupted Andy's classroom earlier in the week so we could take very posed pictures with the kids. I wasn't sure of their intended use at the time, and the whole thing seemed pretty ridiculous since they weren't even my students and I certainly wasn't actually teaching in the photos. But there I was in the slide show: me and a few Chinese students, laughing and smiling, pointing to China on the map together. I guess I have officially become part of the ubiquitous propaganda of my host country.

Scenes at TESS:

Yes, Chinglish is everywhere, but seems especially out of place outside of the Language Center. Apparently they did not consult their English-speaking staff with their trash can design.
Lunch at the school cafeteria: duck feet! I will never complain about mashed potatoes and gravy again.

so, I guess I'm a teacher now.

I started what was supposed to be a 5-day teacher orientation on Monday morning, and am alternating between being excited, mildly nervous, and wanting to get back on the next airplane to the US to return to a job I am comfortable with and qualified for. (Yikes, I better watch my prepositions if I'm an English teacher now...)

I drafted sample lesson plans on Monday and Tuesday, and watched classes in the Language Center during the afternoon. There is a common stereotype of Chinese students that they are much more disciplined, hard-working, and respectful of their elders than their American peers. That image for me was destroyed within seconds of walking into a TESS classroom. The Chinese kids I observed were squirrelly, cliquey, loud, moody, and ultra-competitive - after all, regardless of cultural norms, they are still kids. Luckily, they are also unbelievable cute.

Jaris teaching parts of the body in what may soon be my classroom (!)

After reassuring myself that my 5-day introduction to teaching would ease me smoothly into the teaching experience, I was approached by Steve this morning with an unforeseen request (demand?): there will be several new classes tonight that don't yet have teachers, and he needs someone to fill in. So in two days I have graduated from mediocre first attempts at lesson planning to standing in front of classroom, playing the role of teacher. I am hoping I can put on a guise of confidence... or at least not pee my pants in front of a classroom of 4th graders. I can't help but think of all the times my mom pressured me to do something out of my comfort zone to "build character" - this experience is definitely going to be a chart-topper. (I hope you're proud!!)

Yet despite my apprehension I am pretty excited - after all, this is what I traveled several thousand miles to do. Besides, it makes the demo introductory lesson I'll be giving the other teachers on Friday morning seem like a cake-walk in comparison. Not to mention, if nothing else it may give me an exciting addition to my blog... :)

* * *

On a completely unrelated note, when I was leaving to go for a run on Sunday morning (recuperation after watching the disappointing ending to the Badger game with a fellow teacher from OSU) I realized I left my iPod, keys, and small wallet on the bus home from Yangshuo. Luckily everything that disappeared was readily replaceable, and the process of losing them was fast and painless - no show-downs like my European muggings! Still, for those of you who had high hopes for me in my new hemisphere, I can assure you I have not lost my magic touch.

Road tripping to Yangshuo & Guilin

I got back at 7:30 this morning from 3 and a half long days (literally - at one point I was awake for 24 hours straight) in Guilin 桂林 and Yangshuo 阳朔. I am actually embarrassed about my earlier post now, when I expressed surprise/disappointment at the anemities in my apartment, because now the entire thing seems heavenly and completely Western. My Western toilet, for example, appears to be one of the only ones in the entire country, and the rock-hard mattress on my bed is cloudlike compared to the bamboo mats the rest of the population seems to be sleeping on.

Like most days spent exploring new cities, my past few have been quite action-packed and exciting. I'll try to keep this post from scrolling out of control by covering only the highlights.

DAY 1

The bus ride out actually turned out to be quite exciting. Thankfully we had a sleeper bus, because our estimated 10-hour journey somehow turned into 17. I arrived with two of my fellow teachers, Sam and Allaina, in Yangshuo at 2:30 am. We checked out prices at a few hotels, but recognizing how much would be paying per hour of sleep, decided instead to walk out toward the river, and sat in a pagoda waiting for the sunrise. A few hours later, we were all quite pleased with our decision, as the rising sun illuminated the karsts (narrow, pointed limestone mountains) across the river. In the morning our group met with Andy, another teacher who had taken an overnight bus from Shenzhen. After checking into a hostel and haggling for the price of both our accommodations and touristy activities, we rented bikes and headed out to the water caves. Biking in China is an adventure of its own right; since street traffic flows in every direction with no regard for signs, lines on the pavement, or speed limits, large vehicles have a definite advantage over smaller ones, and bikes are the bottom rung of this intimidation-factor hierarchy. However, aside from the sheer craziness of it, the ride turned out to be one of the best parts, with another spectacular view waiting around every turn.

View of the Li River in Yangshuo

After we dropped our bikes at the ticketing office, we took two separate buses connecting us to the water cave, both of which seemed to be within miles of the end of their useful lives and were sort of painful to ride over the very unpaved roads. The cave was worth it, though. The tour was not so interesting, since it essentially consisted of the guide pointing out cool-looking formations and giving his interpretation ("You see this one, vertical and tall? Is sex penis!"). But at the end we got to swim in the pools of water within the cave, including one that was filled with mud so thick that we could not see our suits after swimming in it, and rose to the surface when we jumped in as though the sandy water were actually denser than we were.

Dinner meant meeting with Pan, a Chinese college student Allaina had met on couchsurfers.com, and a restaurant excursion for a traditional Yangshuo dish - catfish. It seemed pretty normal, except that we had to choose our fish, which was swimming around in a pond minutes before we ate it, and I found the eyeball in the final cooked product. (This, as a side note, was not nearly as gross at the meat on a stick I ate later that night, which I later identified as pig penis.)

Since the Chinese holiday was in full swing, the streets filled up early and our group headed to a KTV, a type of karaoke bar that is enormously popular in China - even more than the "real KK" in Madison, believe it or not! A highlight of the night was joining the Chinese DJ, who was rocking out on the dance floor by himself, for a dance. At first he had no idea what to do with me out there, but when I sat back down he kept trying to re-join him onstage. Apparently Chinese girls don't dance much, so I made a bit of a scene. A few hours later, after the rest of the group headed home, Andy and I finished the night skinny-dipping in the Li River with some international teachers from Shanghai. The water was warm and the entire experience was a trip highlight - at least until flash photography chased us out of the water and hurriedly back to our clothes.

DAY 2

I woke up the next day at 5 am, surprisingly refreshed from 3 hours of sleep, in time to catch a boat cruise to watch the sunrise (again) over the Li River.

When we returned to the hostel - still early in the morning - we found that Pan would be allowed to host us at his dormitory in Guilin, so we packed up our things and prepared to leave the hostel. This simple action turned into the most excitement we encountered during our trip: when we told the hostel owner we were leaving, he flipped out. We had already paid for part of our second night, so we said we would leave the money, but he wanted more. After Andy, Allaina, and I walked out of the gate with our bags, he closed the iron gate behind us, keeping Sam trapped inside the hostel. Finally, when Andy threatened loudly to call 110, the phone number for the Chinese police, the owner released Sam. Sam was understandably upset, especially since the guy had broken his Oakley sunglasses when he attempted to snatch his belongings, but I think our relief at escaping a potential terrifying situation outweighed the damage.

Our stay with Pan was interesting, especially since it allowed me to compare Chinese and American dormitories. They are actually quite similar, except that Pan has 5 roommates, a very Chinese bathroom, and only a small cupboard for storing his clothes. He is in school now for English tourism and I got a kick out of looking over some of his class material - for example, he had recently studied a list of common abbreviations used in casual email (e.g. ASAP, lol, wtf, etc).

We spent the evening sight-seeing and eating traditional Chinese food. Horse is an area specialty; in fact, we didn't see any restaurants on our block that didn't feature at least one horse dish on the menu, but I carefully avoided them. I did resolve to try a snail, but after struggling to detach its tentacles from the shell, I couldn't bring myself to eat it. I figured the pig penis was enough for one vacation. We also learned, somewhat accidentally, that it was Pan's birthday, so Andy escaped dinner to buy him a cake and we celebrated, American-style.

Our group at the top of one of the karsts in Guilin (Andy, Sam, Pan, Allaina, me)

DAY 3

Luckily, our final day was slightly less adventurous. We saw the Seven Star Park in the morning, complete with Chinese cave writing and panda bears. We even saw some monkeys walking around the park, which I thought were adorable and picture-worthy until they attacked a small boy sitting in a pavilion. I guess they are more irritable than their cuteness conveys... Anyway, after getting dumplings for lunch, Pan gave us each a traditional Chinese gift and we headed back Yangshuo to catch our bus. I decided to spoil myself and use the bathroom at the Yangshuo KFC, which cost me almost 45 minutes waiting in line; it was in high demand, since although it was a squat toilet it was equipped with toilet paper and a sink and was kept clean. These are the luxuries I never consider when I'm at home...

The last thing I did before we boarded the overnight bus to head back to Shenzhen was purchase an enormous wall hanging. It's taller than me, and is canvas material painted with the character for "dance", painted abstractly to look like a man and woman dancing. I bartered with the woman from 480 to 280 kuai (about US $40) and although I think I have gotten it even cheaper, I almost felt bad giving her so little. Such is the nature of prices in China; I spent 3 days traveling, eating like a king, and doing exactly what I wanted, and in the end spent less than US $200. If you can deal with the toilets, bad smells, and constant stares, China is really a pretty good place to be.